Sarah, Plain and Blameless

In the wake of an historic American election, Governor Sarah Palin wasted no time in turning on a dime and leaving seven cents change:

“I don’t think anybody should give Sarah Palin that much credit…that my presence on the ticket would trump the economic crisis that America found itself in a couple of months ago and attribute John McCain’s loss to me,” the Wasilla Wonder said of her long-forgotten Vice Presidential campaign of twenty-four hours ago.

John McCain’s loss.

Palin exhibits no responsibility for her actions, ignores polls which prove her negative impact on the ticket, and quickly throws her “hero” under the bus to serve her agenda.  Who says this hockey harpy doesn’t have a future in the Republican party?  The woman’s a natural!

Sadly, for now it’s goodbye to Neiman-Marcus and back to protecting American’s northern airspace for Vladmir Putin’s head-rearing flybys.  By the way there, Gov, if Putin or any Russian jets actually do intrude on your snowy state’s borders, by golly you might want to crank up the phone and call President Obama at the White House to let him know.  That’s kind of an important detail concerning our nation’s defense, you betcha!

Does Sarah have her mascara-laden eyes on a national office in 2012, now that pesky McCain is no longer dragging on her $150,000 coattails?  Today’s polls asking who could best lead the Republicans moving forward puts Palin in 3rd place behind Mitt Romney and Mike Huckabee, two of a handful of prominent, nationally vetted GOPers who have already lost a bid to be President.  Losing as the nominated VP is the Webster’s definition of persona second banana, just ask Dan Quayle.

Of course this is also a sad day for Joe the Plumber, the GOP’s second fictional character trotted out in this election cycle to stand up as a cynical parody of the average American citizen.  But at least Joe has his publicist, his country music recording contract and his book deal to fall back on while he doesn’t buy that plumbing company he mentioned to Obama.  Word to Joe: don’t be surprised if those record producers and publishers suddenly become a bit slow in returning your calls.  I’m just saying.  That ding! you heard today was the kitchen timer and the national media set it for fifteen minutes.  No, there aren’t brownies!  But get your fork ready because something’s done, all right.

Now you had better hope that President Obama gets down to work fixing the economy and lowering taxes for average Americans since your club membership was just reinstated.  That is, when Obama isn’t bringing the “death to Israel” — that was your prodigious foreign policy experience proclaiming that gem, wasn’t it?  Maybe you can be Palin’s Secretary of State in 2012, when all our adversarial countries will be airlifted within walking distance of the White House portico so Sarah can keep an eye on ’em?  Gotta watch ’em like a hawk, ya know!

At last this stupid election is over so Sarah Palin can put that albatross John McCain behind her and get back to firing underlings in Alaska, since it’s not an unethical abuse of power.  Though you might want to get the hubby to put the kibash on that whole secession idea if you plan to run again in four years: you’d no longer be eligible for the U.S. Presidency.  In the meantime, I hear the Sak’s Thrift Avenue in Anchorage has some darling outfits on sale this month.  Dress for success in 2012!